Closet
The above photo is as disturbing to me as I'm sure it is to you. Yes, Joe finally came out of the closet (albeit a very small one). You can tell by the look on my face that I was not a happy camper to receive such shocking news. I actually had to grab one of Dante’s toy helmets to avoid the shower of platitudes.
Switching gears a bit, this is a photo from Dante’s birthday party which had an Army theme (as a side note this party was rated 4 out of 10). In this shot Joe is parading the young lads around in double time singing an age appropriate march cadence.
But wait, it seems that although all of the prepubescents are jogging with the tried and true “kick yer ass” style, their fearless leader (Joe) has chosen a less manly gait. What’s up with that???
posted by Mike Dubuc | 10:29 AM
56 Comments:
Say it ain't so, Joe. Say it ain't so!
Apparently the worm has turned.
I need not defend myself in this as all know the truth. I seems that I am now being maligned. As to the foot thing say what you will, but I stand on my performance as a drill sargeant. La de da da. Sgt. Shultz there should take care.
We have faith that you are not eating your soufflé in a South End dining establishment.
Are you more like Sgt. Carter?
Thank you Dr. F. I am more like Sgt Carter to Peters' Gomer Pyle. Again, Spilly, you should not notice that Ms. Anderson is fun to watch whilst she runs or stretches, or breathes...whatever. Despite your silly efforts, Sissy I am not. Just ask the NRA.
Hmmm...a new word. Let's see if that word will qualify [looks to the line judge].
Portmanteau word of giant or gigantic and enormous.
Adjective
ginormous (comparative more ginormous, superlative most ginormous)
Very big.
"He drove up in a ginormous stretch limo."
"That book was ginormous!"
Ah, OK...Spilly you free and clear to use that word. No foul has been made and the word is acceptable.
the fact that spilly is noticing these women has a certain WOW value for me!!
I NEVER knew that about her!
First, yes jo, jo runs like a girl. We couldn't make fun of him because, mom, always jo, jo's defender said it was because of his leg casts. She then blames herself. For this and other self flagilatory offenses, jo, jo is the freak that he has become. Anyway, jo, jo runs like a girl. And watch the gomer pyle like comments, jo, jo, Dr. F.'s brother is gomer pyle, not me. I like girls. I like to think of myself like one of the Corporal Agarn on F Troop, bumbling but normal. So there, nice to see the tables have turned. Thanks, Mike
Expat, I knew Cpl. Agarn, and you sir, are no Cpl. Agarn. Captain Parmenter! Now THAT'S your alter Ego!
Didn't Wrangler Jane want Parmenter? Then Expat is NO Parmenter. Try Trooper Vanderbilt!
I think Trooper Jane was really a Soft-ball player.
Sorry, Wrangler Jane.
Wrangler Jane was no softball player. She liked the sensitive type like my alter ego, Parmenter! Thanks Jo, JO, you were kinder to me than I was to myself. You still run like a girl!
He should get the Nobel prize! Her Plastic Surgeon is a hero to us all. Expat, I wasn't kind. Have you seen Parmenter ride a horse?
jo jo, don't worry about the rabble. I've seen you run as swift as a gazelle and as graceful as a deer when that Hooters girl called you over to her moving Ford Mustang, several years ago.
You would have caught her too if she hadn't of run you down first.
Pam looks fake and has all those awful tattoos, I actually find her repulsive. Now Selma Hayek, there's a girl whose tremendous atributes are real.
She's a terrorist, I'm certain of it. Thank you Dr. F. for your good memory. I didn't ask you Daisy for confirmation of the obvious, because it is just that, obvious. The NRA cannot plainly state it's anti-rainbow platform, therefore it is a better barometer than my spouse. If being a lame duck puts me in the same category as "W" , then I'm fine with that.
You're welcome, jo jo. Always an honor to come to the aid of a patriot.
Hey, Salma's not a terrorist, she's a mexican! And a damned good looking one at that!
She would wear a berka on her sexy days.
Spilly, again the clarion call reality! You must be the Muse of Reason. All this Maxim talk is making me ill--and not just because I'm celibate. Do you all know that they not only airbrush all those girls, but they in fact completely computer generate some of them? What the heck is wrong with reality that we have to cosset the sexual fantasies of 14 year olds?! Sheesh.
what's your point? have you ever been to New Brunswick?
Hey-I'm not 14! According to Spilly I stopped maturing mentally at 12. Don Miguel, gla(n)d to have you back. It's been a little less sharp-witted here in your absence. Can I get one of those computers?
Hey Don M. Who is performing 1st Communion this Sat.? Don't forget, everyone but Expat. is invited. I wanted to save the stamp, and since he wouldn't come anyway he isn't invited.
I don't think he'd send one. Besides, if he mailed it now, from Spain, Dante would get it in time for his confirmation.
do you think Expat would buy a gift AND pay to mail it?
It's one or the other.
Ah, I think I should be left off the gift hook. I don't think anyone has been forgotten in 2006 yet. So, lets go lightly, shall we. And why did we stop picking on Joe?
Because jo jo is a great Maxim reading red blooded Reagan voting American. It's my job to have his back.
It brings a tear to the eye--but it doesn't fall(see Dr. F's earlier comment).
OK, Lori, I cannot help it if I guessed for the average 3 year old when it came to shoes. The 18 month olds will be wearing them soon! You got a card at your b-day, your gift is STILL on backorder!
Dr. F., I voted for Ronnie Reagan twice, you did three times, but ask jo, jo how many times he voted for him! I'm the dyed in the wool Republican. I like maxim just as much as the next guy, I'm just not obsessed like some others on this blog!
Sailboat. Copper sailboat. I'll say nothing else.
Maribel still laughs about the sailboat and still feels bad about it too! The pirahana was a gift from brazil from our honeymoon, not a birthday gift. Get it right!
Pirhana Smirhana, the flag and the sails went in different directions!
It was the lousiest buck and a quarter you ever spent
Pirhana Smirhana, eh?
[starts hearing music]
[somewhere out of sight but within earshot an annoucer yells "Let's play the name game!"
Shirley Shirley bo burley
Banana fana fo firley
Fe fi fo firley
SHIRLEY!
Lincoln Lincoln bo bincoln
Banana fana fo fincoln
Fe fi fo fincoln
LINCOLN!
C'mon everybody, YEAH!
I said let's play a game
I betcha I can make a rhyme
Out of anybody's name.
The first letter of the name
I'll treat it like it wasn't there
But if a "B" or an "F" ever will appear
Then I say a fo and a fi and I say the name
Banana fano and fo
And then i say the name again
And I say the name again
With an "M" this time
There isn't a name
That I can't rhyme.
Arnold Arnold bo barnold
Banana fano fo farnold
Fe fi mo marnold
ARNOLD!
But if the first two letters
Are ever the same
Drop them both
And say the name
Like Bob, Bob drop the "B" spells ob
or Fran, Fran drop the "f" spells ran
or Mary, Mary drop the "M" spells ary
That's the only rule that is contrary.
Now let's say Divi, Divi!
Now Divi with a "B", Bivi!
Then banana fana fo, banana fana fo!
Then you say the name again with an "F", very plain, Fivi!
Fe fi then mo, and fe fi then mo
Then you say the name again with an "M" this time, Mivi!
And there isn't any name that I can't rhyme
Now do Divi!
Divi Divi bo bivi
Banana fana fo fivi
Fe fi mo mivi
DIVI!
Let's do Marsha
Marsha Marsha bo barsha
Banana fana fo farsha
Fe fi mo marsha
MARSHA!
A little trick with Dick
Dick Dick bo bick
Banana fana fo fick
Fe fi mo mick
DICK!
I think it is purely yard sale material, also I think Mike is broken.
I can't help it! It's all of this lovely Canadian air (replete with cow manure this time of year)! It does send ones senses for a tumble.
If Mike is broken, you broke him. Hey, he knew the All in the Family quote when you bozos thought it was St. Elsewhere. 10 years too late and a completely different City!
It was at least chocolate! My "sailboat" made of copper curiously started to rust!
Could be.
The sailboat came from the cape, so I don't know the problem there. The chocolate bunny came from Fernandes Supermarket (or it's successors and assigns). It was lent that year and I couldn't convince someone recently arrived in the US that it was not something new and unusual and not fit for a birthday present. That enlightenment came later.
One word comes to mind. Gasbag.
Expat is thrifty. He could be a Yankee WASP if he didn't look so Italian.
Thank you Dr. Franklin, that was actually a nice thing to say!
Yeah...Thrifty...that's the ticket.
Peter can pinch a nickle hard enough to make Jefferson squeal.
Everynow and then I can say something nice. Just don't let that get around.
Hold your tongue buddy.
I'm afraid so. I have been accused of saying nice things before. I've been seeing a therapist to prevent it.
No, I tryly believe it was Russel Stover.
Who are you kidding? It was probably Heartland Supermarket brand.
How can you remember what it looked like all those many years ago!
Hey look, it was better than a "christian" fairy tale book! So I'd shut up if I were you. The rabbit was from a foreigner, what's the southern excuse?
I didn't pick out the rabbit and couldn't convince someone that it was EASTER CANDY!
I think that no matter what you say, you'll get the same "it wasn't my fault" argument. Peter is like a Democrat, he'll lean on any crutch available.
Just let it drop!
Someone's a wee bit touchy about the subject.
Do they sell Easter bunnies as early as January, maybe you'll get one for your birthday next year!
A note to all: I just re-read the entire "Closet" thread, and I must say it was "knee slapping" funny. Deliriously good stuff people. We need another thread like this one! OH, those were the days!
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