Fishy
Oh where art thou friend of mine,
With tiger’s verve and lion’s pride,
Once so proud and full of grace,
My God what has happened to your…
I shan’t shed many more tears,
For the inevitable trek through the years,
Has done removed your smiled bliss,
And replace it with a forced grimace.
And should you need as it would seem,
A ear to listen or heart to bleed,
Look not to yonder spire or in dark deep depth,
For you may count on me and Dr. F.
For upon this bedrock of friendship we now sit,
Which some may call a pile of …,
But know not I and fear not because,
you cannot sing Happy Birthday in the tune of Like A Virgin.
posted by Mike Dubuc | 10:39 AM
46 Comments:
Father Time is not always a hard parent, and, though he tarries for none of his children, often lays his hand lightly upon those who have used him well; making them old men and women inexorably enough, but leaving their hearts and spirits young and in full vigour. With such people the grey head is but the impression of the old fellow's hand in giving them his blessing, and every wrinkle but a notch in the quiet calendar of a well-spent life. ~Charles Dickens
Mike, it's not the years, it's the miles! jo, jo's just not the spry young unknown comic he used to be. He's become an old curmudgeon! By the way, I like the photo juxtaposition.
What I see is the face of a distinguished businessman, the backbone of our great nation; the face of a husband and a father who's family is priority number 1; the face of a local leader who upholds Anmerican values; and the face of man whom women across the fruited plain would stand in line to spend even a minute with.
Congratulations, jo jo, on such a great photo!
I see the grumpy old neighbor with the shovel that all the kids are afraid of!
Dr. F. My friend. Thank the gods you drink.
After 17 years of marriage I drink quite heavily. You, my friend, are the beneficiary of that constant intoxication.
Please extend my thanks to Susan as well.
Just make sure you have good beverages at the roast.
All of this is just sad. How jo, jo has crumbled. Its like the what was said to Bruce Willis in "Moonlighting," "what happened to your hair?!"
Well, That's show business.
Joe, wow. You used to strike quite a figure of a man! =)
Can I assume that this abrupt re-aiming of the bayonet upon our own is not the beginnings of some kind of internecine row, but due to a birthday or something?
No, I think everyone just got bored attacking me. Or maybe not, but it is well deserved.
Who knows what sort of spiders scamper about in Mike's cavernous(or is it carnivorous)cranium. Unfortunately it was fueled by Daisy who seems to enjoy pitching me upon the pike more than anyone. She has sent him all of the blackguard photo's of me in some sort of feeble attempt to make me look bad-oh well. I really don't mind, it give everyone a reset and refreshes them to renew the assault upon Expats' underdefended beaches.
piling on jo jo is boring. We need to re-focus on Expat. There is still so much to do with him.
Spilly, will you miss Expat's significant assistance at the Big Pig this year?
By the way, congratulations to all the Italians out there for beating the French in yesterday's World Cup finals.
It was nice to see the pig french lose, wasn't it!
Not being a big World Cup or "football" fan, I must admit I was shocked and horrified that France had a chance to win the event.
Although I am somewhat French (as Jo Jo likes to point out ceaslessly) being French-Canadian, the other white meat, I can't stand seeing the French win anything!
More anti-French Blather...
Jay Leno says, "It's no surprise the French won't help us get Saddam Hussein out of Iraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France, either. Still, it's essential for them to join us in the war against Iraq. They can teach the Iraqis how to surrender.
And why are French streets tree-lined? So the Germans can march in the shade. How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? No one knows. It's never been tried. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The army. How many gears does a French tank have? Five, four in reverse and one forward (in case of attack from behind). FOR SALE: French rifles . . . never fired, only dropped once."
Dennis Miller specializes in anti-French humor. "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq," Miller says. "The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies."
That last one is more than a joke. It's shrewd commentary. It captures why the French make such poor allies. When they pulled out of NATO 40 years ago and declared Americans must close down their bases in France, Secretary of State Dean Rusk had a bitterly caustic response. Should we dig up the graves of American soldiers in Normandy, too, and take them home? No French answer was recorded.
More French humor!
Gen. George Patton About French Military
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
Conan O'Brien on French and Saddam Hussein
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French!"
Jacques Chirac, French President, on War
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
Rush Limbaugh Replies to Chirac's Statement
"As far as France is concerned, you're right!"l
Jay Leno About French Help to Get Saddam Out
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"
Gen. Norman Swartzkopf on War Without French Help
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
David Letterman on French Demands For "More Proof"
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
Comments By Unknown Person About France
"One thing that France has, and that is the ability to surrender! Anyone who counts on France to help them fight is absolutely void of brain mass. If I had French wine in my house, I would pour it down the drain, or French champagne."
Sen. John McCain on France
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
Marge Simpson, On France and Doing Something
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
Regis Philbin, on French and Going to War
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
If Solobodon Milosevic had a hand picked Soccer team made up of hard core supporters, who had all participated in the geoncide, and they were playing against France, the World would root for France to loose.
speaking of the Pig Roast, spilly, we got our invitation. Tell me more about "snarky"!
Hey Spilly, no one can drink a cuppa coffee like Expat! He has the unique ability to stand somewhere with his nose and all, and look nearly ready to do something, almost ready to spring into action, just about to help. He then looks confused and fumbles to help, and gets irate when you suggest that he was actually just doing what he always does-drink coffee and talk to FDR.
We might have to get Bob from Account temps to fill in for Expat.
hahahahahahaha
Mike, now THAT was funny!!
We should stop picking on Expat. A few years ago I saw him pick up a cup from the lawn and give it to his father to put in the trash.
Yes, Expat, I know you wanted to keep that act of assistance quiet, but I could not stand by any longer as you were being ripped for laziness. You will be missed this summer.
My pig roast department is Public Relations. I walk around and make sure everyone is having a good time. A tough job, but someone has to do it. And as to the French, Bravo to you all. I'd like to meet the manufacturer that made those wonderful flags the Germans used to Welcome the Germans in 1940. I met with a veteran of Dunkirk and he told me that the british guns were not trained on the Germans but on the backs of the french who were turning, dropping their guns and running and turning an orderly retreat into a rout. The british guns kept the french retreating in an orderly fashion.
Somehow, spilly will get by this year without your help!
Expat knows how to work a crowd just like a team mascot.
Dare I say he makes an excellent fluffer?
Brilliant Mikey!! Ha Ha!
Public relations eh? I'd like to see Expat throw the 150+ pound pig on his shoulder and load it in the truck at 5a.m., then get the old boy cookin'. How about next year I'll do public relations, and he can be the "Pig Meister".
I think Expat should come here next year on Aug 1 when we start the work on the 'roast' and help. Mind you, we all love the 'roast' and look forward to it each year, but it is a TON of work. I too would love to be in public relations at the roast, but I've got a pig to cook. I ralize I don't do tons of other things, but I handle the "guest of honor".
Your all jealous that my specialty is more "sexy" than the rest!
jo jo and spilly, my compliments to you both. we look forward to the roast every year. jake's got a new metal bat so we're good to go.
Expat, anything to do with you and "sexy" doesn't belong in the same sentence!
by you? :)
I think I missed something here. Why does Expat think his speciality is sexy?
I think it's best that we don't hear from Expat regarding anything he might consider "sexy". That's opening a box we just don't want to see.
Excuse me, but *Ahem*, "The Squire's go the floor!" That is indeed a Pandoric vessel. Let us proceed to bashing something more savory.
such as back to Expat doing absolutely nothing to help out during any past roast of the big pig. Even my spouse helps dish out the ice cream!
"True, true. It's ashamed, you should be" Expat.
"When I drink water, I drink water, when I drink whiskey, I drink whiskey." I have a very escoteric function at the pig roast. I also have pictoral evidence that I scooped lots of Ice Cream at my last PR.
So he's a self-scooper! Hmmm...
Will someone please open a window Expat reeks of self-servitude.
Expat says: " I have a very escoteric function at the pig roast"
Expat means: "I do jack shit at the pig roast"
source: years of experience with Expat
Dr. F, as usual, you deftly cut through the fog of misrepresentation that Expat shrouds himself with.
I aplaud your ability to put his wackbards self-assessment into laymen terms.
You truly are a fine citizen who is selfless in the never ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way.
[Doffs Hat]
No, it's just that Dr. F. has a lot of experience with "doing Jack shit," and he recognizes a fellow traveller when he sees one.
"Boids of a fedda".
Mike, once again, I thank you and applaud your wisdom. We are most fortunate to benefit from your contributions here. As an employee of the Commonwealth I must say that Expat's viscious attacks on myself and other hard working public servants is without merit. I'm not sure that the souring Spainard could keep up with my pace of receptions and lunches. He should keep to his Europorn lifestyle!
I'm not sure the guys on the highway crews could go as slow as you either. You are Plato's form for a state worker. You only stand up when someone offers you a plate of food or your ass goes numb.
Post a Comment
<< Home