Season's Greetings!
After repeated demands, threats and pleas, I have broken away from my daily drudgery to provide another beam of sunshine in the lives of those who follow this blog. After diggin' deep and tirelessly searching for some witty rapaté on par with my fellow bloggers I have found...
...Nothing! I discovered that I have nothing of interest to say or comment about. Furthermore this nothingness was completely devoid of substance and rang hollow when rapped upon. My normal gapping blank stare was rushed upon with feelings of utter nothingness! I tell you I was on the verge of not having a nervous breakdown over the shear magnitude of the void. Of course my novelistic ramblings are vaguely Nietzschesque and serve little but to fill me with ire, dread and melancholy.
posted by Mike Dubuc | 12:16 PM
81 Comments:
I am honoured to be the first to blog on this sacred turf.
Bless us, everyone. The season is early this year. We will have tidings of tithings or yules of joy or will say hello to seasonings. On dashes of coriander, on parsley and victuals, on compote, on cumin, on dandelion and kippers! To the top of the roast, pimentos and all! Cook away, Cook away, Cook away all!
(not my best effort I know, but I've had only a few minutes.)
Nice to see you back, Mike, in psydchodelicville!
.......Hmmmm. Even with the new spot, no one but us 3 losers.
where is spilly?
inform her that her presence is requested.
Spilly is off preparing to torture a new group of impresionable young students, they, completely unaware of what is in store for them in math/science post Dec. 4.
JoJo, I must say you are sounding a bit high for the season. or is it just being high on seasonings? or is the constant sound of a ringing cash register (oops, I mean jingle bells) that is bringing about this "Cheery jojo"!
By the way, 1st time on the blog - permission granted by Daisy!
It's the cash register ringing! Jo, jo is scrooge. He really lights a fire in the fireplace on Christmas eve so that Santa can't come down the chimney and drink his egg nog and drink his cookies.
egg nogg and cookies are expensive! I leave Santa an IOU.
If Santa were an Anglican he would understand and be OK with an IOU, but, as we all know Santa is Italian. He therefore he expects cannoli and annisette. If you don't leave them, well lets just say he knows where you live.
Santa Claus is not an Eye-talian! He's from Wales. Everyone knows that.
Sure he is. Ain't you ever heard "Dominic the Donkey"? He didn't get that fat eating British food. Besides, who else would be so good at B&E-all these years and never been caught.
Remember, Rogers, St. Nicholas, who's feast is tomorrow, Dec. 6, is St. Nicholas of Bari (San Nicola di Bari). Last time I looked Bari was in Italy!
Thank God he isn't a Spainard. He's be eating barritos and tacos.
Ahhhhh, a Spanish Santa. I can alomst see it now(insert SNL type dream music.).....Don't miss "EL Santarito's live cock fights! Every Friday night behind the auto impound lot you can see them LIVE! LIVE! LIVE! Watch the best roosters that the barrio has to offer. Come see Senor Blitzen this years reigning champion! Bring your Mamacita down to watch the bloodshed! Check out the new low-riders and demonstratons from Mingo's custom paint and body art shop. Don't forget the free samples from Carlos "the needle" Ramierez-He'll take you on your own sleigh ride. We also hav almost free samples from Juanita Coochie and her girls. El Santarito's is the place to be!!!(if the cops show up it's a D.E.T. support group.)
That's very twisted. You watch too much univision!
"We also have "almost free" samples from Juanita Coochie and her girls."
You forgot to mention that it being Xmas and all, everyone get to go home with a little something. [nudge, nudge know what I mean]
DR. Ortega is the guy to see if you do bring home something extra. You can pay him in percocett or oxycontin and he keeps his mouth shut.
from all I have heard, jo jo has outlined exactly what a Spanish Santa would look and act like.
I join you all in shuddering at the thought. Hate to think of Santa on the tv show COPS with a bunch of other Mexicans.
Imagine Cheeh and Chong with a bad attitude and too much tequilia. Spanish Santa is a menace. He'll get hauled off to the Calaboose before New Years' Eve
You should remember, your speaking of the "HISPANIC" Santa. There is no Santa in Spain. We have The three Kings from the Orient who come to visit on Epiphany, Christmas we just eat, drink and go to Church like good Catholics!
3 Chinese guys delivering stuff to your house? Are you Jewish? This explains why Jews get Chinese food on Christmas!!!!! I'll take the Crab Rangoon and a #2 combo with extra Duck Sauce.
Look Better Chinese than Japanese, the last time they showed up in December they left a mess in Hawaii and caused a 5 year war!
Point taken. Got the Stars and Stripes out today?
It is like Bizarro Superman. On the quick look it's ok, but when you stop and give it the once over things are wonky. I have no problem with the gifts and all on Ephiphany, I just don't understand the lack of St. Nick, and the gifts in the shoes. It is VERY UN-American. I think the house committee on un-American activities needs to be informed of this "Spain" issue. Perhaps it's time we shut the whole "European Experiment" down. It is clear to me now that those "Governments" are not functioning well, and the rampant secularism that is sweeping down from the north is going to destroy us someday. We can put Jerry Falwell in charge of the new "Europe". He'll set things straight.
There is no need for Santa here as he's anglo-germanic. Here in Spain our kings share Epiphany (the real gift day) with La Bafana in Italy and the other truly religious understanding of Christmas. The whole Santa thing has gotten far too secular. Santa no longer represents Saint Nicholas and a good Bishops intent to help the impoverished, but a comercialism that has turned the birth of Christ into a civic holiday to the point that every religion (and even some made up ones) want to have their day in December for giving gifts. If the Athiests and Agnostics stopped Christmas shopping, the department stores would have to redesign their fiscal calendar!
St. Nicholas is fun though.
Listen to what Expat said, "There is no need for Santa here as he's anglo-germanic."
First, talk about crushing the hopes and dreams of the millions of children all around the world who read the pearls of wisdom on this site.
Second, so you guys throw Santa in a the trash heap because of his foreign ancestry, but you celebrate three Oriental kings? (None of them were Spanish if memory serves me).
jo jo's right. This is downright un-American.
This was published today in the Wall Street Journal:
Dear Editor, I am 42 years old. Some of my little friends in Spain say there is no need for Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The WSJ, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
Expat of Jerez.
Expat, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Expat, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Expat, there is a Santa Claus.
He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! (Spain!!?) It would be as dreary as if there were no Expats! There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
No need for Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. We know THEY exist! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn outside of San Fransisco? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Expat, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No need for Santa Claus?Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Expat, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!
Babbo Natale. That's his name in Italy. He does exist there. I call our cousin Antonio that because he's fat, and his daughters roar with laughter. Whoever wrote the column in WSJ actually has a heart. Wow.
St. Nicholas of Myra a/k/a St. Nicholas of Bari was born in what is now Turkey. He was bishop of Myra in the 6th century. The story of giving goes back to when he saved three sisters from having to live a life of prostitution by paying their dowries so that they could marry and live a pure life. He threw the money threw the window. That is how St. Nicholas became attached to gift giving. As his feast is so close to Christmas he became identified, over time, with gift giving at Christmas. Some time in the 12th or 13th century, Italian travellers "rescued" St. Nicholas' body for the schismatic Eastern Orthodox and brought it back to Bari where he is inturred in the Cathedral. This is why he is also know as St. Nicholas of Bari and revered in Italy. The three wise men are very biblical and represent the real reason for gift giving at Christmas (remember, in Catholic countries Christmastide is still respected and it goes from Christmas eve until the Presentation of our Lord)was the presentation of gifts to Our Lord by the Magi. So, it all makes sense.
As to bad children going to Spain: Spain controlled the Low countries from the marriage of Philip the Fair to Juana "La Loca" in the late 15th century until the 17th century when they were granted independence. That area turned protestant and the "tercio de Flandes," or the Flanders division lead by the Duke of Alba brutally supressed the people of the low countries and so gained fame for agression and brutality. So it is logical that bad children would go to Spain, where the oppressors live, for punishment. Also when the Dutch want to scare their children they don't say the Boogie man is coming they say the Duke of Alba is coming.
when my children are bad, I tell them that Expat of Jerez is coming.
They quickly correct their ways.
When my children are bad I do what any good conservative does. I tell them they will get a spanking. If they do not desist, I give them a spanking. Sometimes I make them also go to their rooms. There are various punishments for their crimes, all of them are carried out quickly and crying is not tolerated.
I don't know which of the above three punishments are worse!
All are scary. All have dreadful outcomes. All could be consider child abuse in today's world!
Bah!
No, child abuse is letting you children watch Barney and listen to NPR! (Any of you notice the similarity between the purple dinasaur and Barney Frank? Both are large, both are liberal, both named Barney, and isn't purple the gay color? Am I the only one who sees the conspiracy?
Maybe you are right. I've never thought of that before. I'm too busy censoring those British muffin people and the Doodle-bops.
NPR? You mean the "New Porn Review" on cable?
DED. All of the blogging is ded it seems. All is lost. The way is forever erased by the winds of normalcy and blahdom. Where have all the clowns gone? Or is it send in the flowers? Or fowlers? Or frequent fliers. Filers. Friers. Friars. Fearfully flattulent, festering, flaccid Francists. Consonance can be charming. It creates a cerebral category that coincides with confucianism. It clears the curmudgenly, cobwebs from crannies beneath the cortex. Question: If Cortez's corte contained a cortex, could it constitute as a crust? Crass? I know. Confusing? Certainly knot. Compounding in complexity? Clearly! Correct me if I'm creating a cyclone of crannies that have caught me in their clutches, but I can't help it! It's a catch -22. I can't help but keep up, I can't bear to continue. Well, now I'm cross! Ciao.
Have you been sipping the Cognac?
No, but I'm crunching caviar on crackers.
Cool!
I think there is nobody here but us Doc!
I hear the echo.
Well it is certain. Milhous ended before 300, trout at 199, and now Seasonal greetings stopped at a lowly 47 I'm #48. I'm guessing no one will read this. No one will read that I've written that Dr. F. is the cause of Miss USA nearly loosing her crown. How he was the mastermind behind Miss Nevada's downfall, how he is implicated in the paternity investigation in Anna Nicole Smith's baby. No, no one. *snif*
Take heart intrepid blogger, for I ahve seen your musing and am richer for it!
I don't need the publicity. If anyone ever finds out about me and Angelina Joline...oh my...
Brad will never hear it from me.
You are a good man and a solid citizen. Men like you are under appreciated by our society.
Real men need to stick together.
Real men use Speedstick.
I thought they used Old Spice, or is it Spice Girls?
Speaking of 'old', I don't know how old the comments on this string are but I would like to offer Seasonal Greetings to one and all:
For My Democrat Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imp ly that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wish.
For My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year And GOD Be With You!
And a very Happy Christmas to you, don, and may you have God's blessing of this joyous time of year. May the angels of heaven look upon you and smile, and may you have a blessed New Year!
And for you all commie pinko athiests out there, go fu#% (BLEEP) yourself seven times till Sunday.
I believe the children of non active Christians should not get presents at Christmas. They should have to work at the 7 eleven on Christmas day.
Hodie Christus Natus Est!
Nadolig Llawen !!
"...and we will discuss your affairs this very afternoon,
over a Christmas bowl of smoking bishop, Bob!"
A Christmas Carol
And a very Happy Christmas to you all!
(incidentally,I partook a little too heavily with the smoking bishop last evening!)
Happy, Merry, and genrrally Joyous Christ-mas to you all.
P.S. LOVE the Democrat slam Donny M.!
For those who missed it, here is the full text of the Queen's Christmas broadcast 2006
"I have lived long enough to know that things never remain quite the same for very long.
One of the things that has not changed all that much for me is the celebration of Christmas.
It remains a time when I try to put aside the anxieties of the moment and remember that Christ was born to bring peace and tolerance to a troubled world.
The birth of Jesus naturally turns our thoughts to all new-born children and what the future holds for them.
The birth of a baby brings great happiness - but then the business of growing up begins.
It is a process that starts within the protection and care of parents and other members of the family - including the older generation.
Dedicated teachers, friends and voluntary workers like these here at Southwark Cathedral have much to contribute.
As with any team, there is strength in combination: what grandparent has not wished for the best possible upbringing for their grandchildren or felt an enormous sense of pride at their achievements?
But, despite the many community projects like this one, the pressures of modern life sometimes seem to be weakening the links which have traditionally kept us together as families and communities.
As children grow up and develop their own sense of confidence and independence in the ever-changing technological environment, there is always the danger of a real divide opening up between young and old, based on unfamiliarity, ignorance or misunderstanding.
It is worth bearing in mind that all of our faith communities encourage the bridging of that divide.
The wisdom and experience of the great religions point to the need to nurture and guide the young, and to encourage respect for the elderly.
Christ himself told his disciples to let the children come to him, and Saint Paul reminded parents to be gentle with their children, and children to appreciate their parents.
The scriptures and traditions of the other faiths enshrine the same fundamental guidance.
It is very easy to concentrate on the differences between the religious faiths and to forget what they have in common - people of different faiths are bound together by the need to help the younger generation to become considerate and active citizens.
And there is another cause for hope that we can do better in the future at bridging the generation gap. As older people remain more active for longer, the opportunities to look for new ways to bring young and old together are multiplying.
As I look back on these past 12 months, marked in particular for me by the very generous response to my 80th birthday, I especially value the opportunities I have had to meet young people. I am impressed by their energy and vitality, and by their ambition to learn and to travel.
It makes me wonder what contribution older people can make to help them realise their ambitions.
I am reminded of a lady of about my age who was asked by an earnest, little granddaughter the other day: "Granny, can you remember the Stone Age?"
Whilst that may be going a bit far, the older generation are able to give a sense of context, as well as the wisdom of experience which can be invaluable.
Such advice and comfort are probably needed more often than younger people admit or older people recognise.
I hope that this is something that all of us, young or old, can reflect on at this special time of year.
For Christians, Christmas marks the birth of our Saviour, but it is also a wonderful occasion to bring the generations together in a shared festival of peace, tolerance and goodwill.
I wish you all a very happy Christmas together."
I didn't listen to the protestant queen in England, I did listen to the message given by his most Catholic Majesty, Juan Carlos I. And by the way, the queen is know in family as Lillibeth. You should stop smoking bad things and have a nice flaming rum punch.
Was that Juan Valdez? the coffee bean picker?
Keep writing, your ignorance about european affairs simply keeps rearing it's ugle head.
Please, oh foreigner you, keep your jabs to your foreign self. We Americans are in a 6 day period of mourning for the death of the 38th president of these United States, culmnating on Tuesday with the National Day of Mourning with the funeral at our National Cathedral in our nation's capitol.
Will they bury Chevy Chase with him? I said what everyone else was thinking!
Only foreigners and seditious Americans say that.
Which are you, Expat?
Yeah! Don't talk like that Expat! Chevy Chase isn't even ill.
I'm afraid that Expat has become ONE OF THEM.
And Americans like jo jo, mike and myself don't trust people like THEM.
*gasp* Say it isn't so!
Look at the evidence. A swarthy olive skinned man living abroad trashing a late American president. It reeks of sedition.
I have bene informed that Expat is now being trailed by the CIA.
Sounds prudent. It should be noted that the "new" Arab militant eschews the turban and strives to blend in.
Well, that or a Cipriot Turk on the wrong side of the line, p.o'd because he isn't on the right side and hates all things western.
I know he had a curious attachment to Bonanza. You know the family who owned vast stretches of land and had many "serfs" who worked the land for them. The benevolent all wise father watched over and helped all the little people. He shared just enough to keep everyone working, and kindly controlled his spoiled sons, yet indulged them in their foolishness. I don't know about you Dr. Franklin, but it sounds like Marxism to me.
jo jo, If we am not mistaken, and we rarely are, I believe we have stumbled upon a sleeper cell being run by none other than Expat hisself.
We need help from the all powerful Oz to deal with this.
Mike...are you around??? Expat has become Trotsky with a dish towel on his head!
[rubbing his head from the obligatory New Year's headache still]
Did someone mention my name?
Is Diaper Dan over in Spain attacking my fellow patriots?
For shame, Pita, just because you fled the one Great Democracy in the world to live like a rabid gentile doesn't give you free reign to slander those you left behind.
There, Expat. Boy, he told you!
(sticking out my tongue)
Yeah! And Zu-Zu's Petals too!
What did Mike say???
Holy Mocha-Choka-Latté Jo Jo.
Iffin use kant finger it owt gowa bacto bhed.
Mike speaks Welsh! He said, and I quote, "I fingered myself and hit the back of my head."
Kinda odd.
Jo Jo you best take care or else someone will put the curse-of-many-pizzas (aka Mucho Pizzo) on you.
That's worse than the Curse of the Runny Chalupa!
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